2:00 Saturday

Just a quick note tonight.  My surgery has been scheduled for 2:00 Saturday afternoon.  I have to be at the hospital by 12:00 noon.  It'll be good to get this part over (I think :-)).  I'm still a bit nervous about the whole thing.  My mind can't help but think of worst-case scenarios. Pray for the best!  Thanks.

More later.

We got the news...

We received news from the doctor's office this afternoon that the insurance company has approved the surgery and we are set for a Saturday (6/19) surgery.  I go in for a pre-surgery visit and also for a pre-admission visit at the hospital tomorrow morning.  I will hopefully know more about everything then.

I have to say, in all honesty, I am still a bit frightened at the whole prospect of going "under the knife" to have surgery on my brain.  I guess all I can do at this point is hope and pray A LOT.  At least it is happening rather quickly so I won't have a lot of time to worry about it.

I'll get back on tomorrow to discuss anything else I learn.  I just wanted to keep you up to date.

Thanks for all of your kindness and prayers on my behalf.

Back from the Doc

Rather than trying to be creative as I write today, I will just quickly do this in question and answer style:

1. Q: When will I be having my surgery? A: Saturday, either 6/19 or 6/26.  We are awaiting insurance pre-authorization to determine the actual date.  We will know by Thursday.
2. Q: How long will I be in surgery? A: From 1 - 4 hours depending on the severity of what needs to be removed.  The surgeon will make that call as the surgery progresses.
3. Q: How long will I be in the hospital? A: 2 - 6 six days, depending on how I do and how I progress in my recovery (ICU 1-3 days, depending. Regular hospital for remainder of stay).
4. Q: Will radiation treatment be required? A: Maybe, the tumor will be examined and the oncologist will let us know a few days after surgery.
5. Q: Will chemotherapy be required? A: Probably not, but maybe.
6. Q: How long until I can get back to regular activity? A: Upon release from hospital, I will be expected to be up and around, walking, several times a day.  It will be 8 - 12 weeks before any heavy physical activity.
7. Q: What will the pain be like? A: According to the doctor, it will seem worse since I have no pain now, but they'll give me plenty of meds to counter it.
8. Q: How do they get to the tumor? A: They will cut some of the bone from the base of the skull and the upper spine to get to it, apparently I have bone there that I don't need (?).
9. Q: How will my diabetes be managed during the hospital stay? A: I will remain on my pump and will be able to manage my diabetes on my own during my stay.

Fun stuff, huh?

What a crappy afternoon!

Today was just ONE of those days!  It didn't start bad.  In fact, at work this morning I received a nice plaque for student recognition activities I did this year.  It's something that I love to do, so I'm not quite sure why they award someone for it, but I can go with the flow there.  I wasn't really stressed at work, despite the stressful time of year.

Char called me this morning after she had talked to my doctor.  My next appointment is June 14.  So I guess it's just a waiting game until then.  Also, not too stressing...

When I got home this afternoon, things just did not go well.  It probably all started when my blood sugar was running low.  Big deal!  It happens all the time, right?  That would be true except I'm trying to lose some wight and every time I have to place more food in my mouth it takes that much longer to lose the weight.  It is so frustrating.  And because my blood sugar was low, I was unable to go to the gym to exercise this afternoon, another thing that just slows down the whole weight loss prospect.  You'd think that I could get this under control, but as I lose more weight I need less insulin for the food I eat and it is just a "crap shoot" as to how much less insulin I need.  So it goes...take less insulin, but if you take too much less then your blood sugar rockets up until you feel lousy and can't do anything anyway...so you take insulin to bring your blood sugar back down.  It's all just a vicous circle!

Char says I get stubborn when I my blood sugar is low so, apparently, I was stubborn and got frustrated with her about the fan being on last night while we were trying to go to sleep (I wanted it on, she needed it off because she wasn't feeling well).  In the whole conversation, I must have hurt her feelings because then there was the interminable silence that follows when she gets mad.

School ended yesterday for the kids, so grades were posted today.  Everyone passed every class they were in.  I was a bit upset with Kenton's English grade since he is such a great writer but I have seen him make such great improvements lately that I felt the teacher was being unfair.  Not a whole lot anybody can do about it now!  We also heard from Kenton's school counselor who was happy to tell him that he would not be able to take his AP Calculus class next year or his Advanced Computer class.  The whole situation reeked.  Not sure what to do about this yet.  I'm going to have to think about it overnight.  Maybe I'll get some inspiration on it tonight while I'm lying in bed trying to sleep and constantly thinking about my upcoming surgery.

Tonight, we have our ward's fundraiser for Girl's and Scout Camps.  The dinner is supposed to be pretty impressive.  We'll see, especially since I have to tightly control how much I eat when it comes to pasta.  Let's all hope for the best!

Based on Char's conversation with the Doctor's Office this morning, she seems to think it is going to be a little while before my suregery.  At least it's not going to be as quickly as we had previously thought.  It should give me at least a week to relax after work is done for the year.  YIPPEE!!

Touch and Go

I find myself depressing very easily lately.  Of course, the brain likes to go to the worst case scenario everytime it thinks of the situation.  I find I'm always worried about my kids and my wife, especially if I were not around.  I usually just try to put on a smile, joke around, and try to forget about it all.  Usually it works, occasionally, though, I find myself sitting, staring off into space, thinking about it.

Saturday was, by far, the hardest day I have had since hearing about the tumor.  I imagine it was because I didn't have my job to distract me.  At work I am able to focus on a specific task and I am able to use my brain power for the task, it is not difficult to remain focused without thinking about all of my problems.

Yesterday evening I was playing Phase 10 with Char and the kids.  I found myself getting overlyfrustrated that I was not able to get the second phase.  So frustrated, in fact, that I finally had to leave the game or I felt like I was going to "lose it."  I thought to myself, "Ken, this is so stupid.  Why are you letting this get to you?"  I didn't care before.  It was "just a game."  I guess our minds like to play tricks on us sometimes.  Needless to say, what was supposed to be a family game, ended quickly and I left, feeling worse than I was before.  I'm such an idiot sometimes.

On my plate today?  I get to give the Gospel Doctrine lesson in Sunday School.  I have read through the lesson and tried to prepare for it a number of times this week without much success.  I'm going to have to rely on the Lord to get me through this one, I'm afraid.  We'll see how it goes.

How it all started

In March, I went to my normal endocrinologist appointment.  While there I complained about my hands trembling often when I am trying to go to sleep.  So often, in fact, that I had been sleeping on my thumbs to keep them from trembling.  My endocrinologist decided to send me to a neurologist to see if I could get some help for it.  In late March, I went to see him.  He set me up with a batch of tests.  A sleep test for my Sleep Apnea, lab work to determine an irregularities in my blood, and a CT scan to check things out in my brain.

When I went in for my follow up appointment during the second week of May, the doctor said he was a little concerned about an area that is probably just a calcium deposit and not likely anything major to worry about.  He sent me back to the lab to get an MRI of my brain and to follow up with him as soon as possible after the MRI.  Last week I had the MRI and we were able to get a follow up appointment for Wednesday morning, May 26.

At my appointment, Char and I were told that I had a small tumor in my brain that would have to be removed and the doctor quickly set up a visit with a neurosurgeon later that morning.  When we went to the neurosurgeon's office, the doctor explained the need to to get the tumor out.  The following points were discussed:

1) Tumor is near the brain stem.  If the tumor grows into the brain stem, I will begin to lose some life functions (swallowing, breathing, etc.)

2) Tumor is benign although it has gotten bigger over many years.  It does not appear to be cancerous.

3) It appears to be huge to me, but the doctor says it is a relatively small tumor in size.

4) Surgery will happen soon, though we are not sure when.

5) Following the surgery, I will need radiation treatment to make sure the cells of the tumor are dead. Chemotherapy may also be needed.

6) Doctor says he anticipates that I will be back to normal in time for work in the Fall.